I am a bohemian kind of person. I love colour, music, baking, picnics and to turn moments into memories. I adore kids and spending quality time with them makes me happy. When I feel stressed out I pick up one of my musical instruments and play music until my spirit feels refreshed and uplifted. I make my house a home where all are welcome to let their hair hang loose and where they can relax and indulge in my hospitality. I have a passion for Christ and try to live my life in a manner that others will be able to experience unconditional love and see Jesus through me.

My story

For years, I felt that I was put high upon a pedestal, until that day that I realized it was only a fantasy. The person I loved more than life betrayed me and I fell so hard that I lost the most precious and beautiful gift to humankind, called “sight”. Not only was this a shock to my system but a shock to my being.

I felt I was left alone, in mental darkness, and no one to guide me. Is it possible to carry on living, feeling that a part of yourself is ripped away, the one you loved, trusted and adored?  Then also the loss of precious sight. The ability to be independent, to admire the beauty, creativity and recognition of, what used to be, so normal.

The news of finding out that I am losing my sight left me with fear. I was speechless, being a very outgoing and talkative person, this was also new to me.  I didn’t want to talk, I couldn’t understand who this stranger was. I had to make a choice.

It took me a few days to come to a point where I realized I needed to do something about myself. I had to pull myself together. I didn’t want to pamper this feeling, called depression, so easily it can become a habit. Instead I wanted to prepare myself  for this unknown new life. I decided that I want to do whatever it takes, to be my own, happy self again. I started going to an organization called LOFOB, where they taught me braille and some mobility.

There, at my “blind school”, I felt so humble, so thankful for this time of grace, the time that I still had with remaining sight, to be able to live out my passions. I decided to teach the ladies some crafts, to help them to find themselves again  and also to restore their humanity. I was honoured to be crowned “Woman of the year ” for my involvement with the uplifting of these woman, whom had no time of grace, no time to prepare themselves for the unknown, the world of darkness.

Forgiveness

Soon I realized, that with what happened to me, I needed to take stock of my life and also about my emotions.  I learned that the difference in the words Better and Bitter, is the letter I. Only me,  myself and I, can make that choice of being bitter or being better. I chose to be better.

To be better and to be able to be a better person, I had to go free of any grudges of those who, I felt, betrayed me. I no longer wanted to drink small sips out of the bottle of poison, labeled “not forgiving”.

Cycling

I joined a few “blind” organizations. When SA Tandem association for the blind, decided to go on a cycling tour from Johannesburg to Durban, I offered to help them with preparing the food on tour.

The first morning, it was terribly cold, the blind sat in the bus, freezing to death, and not willing to get out and to start cycling.

Out of the blue, something  that looked like a creature lost from space, came up to me and said in an almost strict kind of voice, “get on the back of my bike”.  Me, so shocked, stared at him and said “do you think I am built for a bike?”

I could see, this man,  who came all the way to give his all to be a pilot on Tandem, won’t take another no for an answer.

I got on the back of that bike, with no cycling gear, but an old, used cycling helmet. After about 2 minutes of cycling, I wondered,  how long still before I get a severe heart attack.  My heart was beating in my chest like a time bomb ready to explode. I was not yet willing to tell this man, this pro cyclist and bundle of muscles, that I am sure I came to the end of my life. To give up was not an option, I’d rather drop dead on the back of the bike, I did not want to disappoint this willing and motivated pilot. I started counting all the little parts on the bike, still noticeable to me.

After counting it over and over again, I wondered where I lost my heart, I could not even feel it beating. Is this how it feels to get your second breath?

Well, we completed that stage, that pilot, that day, created a monster.

Although we won the trophy for best performers as newcomers,

I made an oath to myself on that tour, to get fit and come back the next year, to be so fit that the pick up vehicle will need to slow us down.

Back home I was linked to another pilot who was willing to give something back to cycling. This pilot, super fit, dedicated and willing, started training me to reach my goals,  and so we became a mean team. Then only did I realize the strength of my legs. I am sure by that time I could kick-start a jumbo jet.

That year we won SA Championships and also The Argus Cycling Tour on Tandem. We were racing each weekend and trained 6 days a week. I became super fit. Our hard work and dedication paid off, we were slowed down by the pick up vehicle on the next cycling tour.

We won these titles the next year again, so motivated and focused kept to our daily training. One evening, while training, we were involved in a hit and run by a lady at a stop street. Unfortunately I was hit. There and then I got the fright of my life and stopped cycling.

MY LOVE STORY

The 2004 winner of The Burger Sanlam tour,was the pilot whom wanted to give something back to cycling. Soon, me the  zero,  was turned into a hero.

I was dedicated to train hard and we spend many hours on Tandem. He, the quiet, dedicated sportsman, me the arty, talkative woman. I had to learn that a pro cyclist doesn’t wear jewelry and accessories while cycling, and listening to music was not an option while racing.

I had to train hard, keep to the rules, obey to his commands and learn not to talk while training. I did all of that and so we became the Tandem team, winning all the trophies.

After his divorce,  we started attending functions together, I cooked for him every night, my way to show my appreciating for all the time he put into my training,  I also started spending time with his children over weekends and holidays.

One evening,  we spoke about the fact that we were spending  such a lot of time together,  without any romantic connections,that was a blessing in disguise.  We became good friends. We understood each other,  appreciated and supported our different passions and obviously, our cycling

One evening after eating out, he offered his arm to me to assist me crossing the road. That evening,  when I touched his arm, a whole colony of butterflies exploded in my stomach. Then and there a realized, I was falling in love with my friend.

 

THE FIREFLIES, CHAPMAN’S PEAK  AND US

One evening Theo asked me if we could go for an outing the Friday after work. I asked him if there was something I could prepare for us to eat and he said it was not necessary for me to do anything . All I needed to take along was a picnic basket and something  warm to wear.

I had no idea where he was taking me or what he planned for us that evining.  You see, this was in itself a treat for me, I am normally the one planning outings, feeding all those who are hungry and to try to plan special treats for those close to my heart.

We got into the car and I was patiently waiting to see in which direction the car will be taking us. Being a cyclist, I could have guessed that the spot,  that he had in mind,  was somewhere on Chapman’s Peak.

He found the perfect spot and asked me to wait on the picnic blanket while he get the food ready for us. I enjoyed the view, overlooking the sea, mountains and nature life.

While enjoying the chicken,  salads and bazaar pudding which  he bought from a market day at church,we could see the whales playing in the water.  We watched the sunset and soon it became dark.  All of a sudden we were surrounded by a swarm of fireflies. It reminded me of my childhood on the farm and for Theo this was a first, he never before saw fireflies!

He was delighted and overwhelmed. This was a sign, a confirmation of what he planned telling me, was the right thing to do. This magical moment, my friend declared his love to me.